Another dicouraging month!

First, I was two weeks late with my period. Then it was 10 days long and only needed a panty liner. This is really weird for me, so I called the nurse right away. They did an ultrasound and found that my uterus was showing all the signs of getting ready to ovulate. I was told that I should get a +OPK by the end of the weekend and if I don't to call on Monday. No +OPK, so I called first thing on Monday. I was told to come in Tuesday for another ultrasound. I was convinced that I wouldn't ovulate this month either. So Tuesday's ultrasound showed that I had 1 follicle left still growing (29mm) and the nurse gave me the Trigger shot.

I was told to come back in Thursday for another ultrasound to see if it has released. We tried for the next 2 days, and went back in for the u/s. Sure enough, it showed that I did ovulate. I was happy to hear that I did ovulate, but already convinced that this wasn't the month! We left a message for our nurse to call as we had some questions about the plan for next month. Of course, she didn't call back until Tuesday of this week (5 days later)!

Of course, she said "I'm not counting out this month to having worked, but we will put you on Clomid next month to help you ovulate." So that was the answer! I figured, but I wanted to be prepared! I am noticing that I don't have any signs of being pregnant and very upset about it! My boobs had gotten huge and sore, but now back to size and don't hurt as bad. I know there is only a 5% chance each month, but still. It is heart breaking when we try so hard and do so much to try to get pregnant and nothing works!

It doesn't help that everytime someone calls to chat with me, they end up telling me they are pregnant! I don't want to hear it anymore! I just don't understand! I wish God would just show me the blueprint on my life to know if it is really worth trying??? I hate getting so depressed before Monday comes! I just pray that I don't go weeks without a period starting either! I have faith that God will provide, but sometimes it is hard to deal with!

So I will post next week when I start and let you know if I ovulate! It is so nice to have this outlet to vent and cry and just get it all out! It is hard to constantly dump on C, though he is really good about it all!