Okay, now every time I go to the bathroom I check to see if I have started again! Every cramp I pray that I would just start already! The madness is going to drive me insane! I really need to stop over thinking everything! I know that I am going to have a period! I know this, so why is do I continue to hold out hope? I don't know what to do any more!

I guess I should admit that I want to get pregnant! I guess I need to tell C that I want to go back to a NEW RE and see what they have to say. Maybe they can do more blood work and can check to make sure it is still all normal? Maybe he will know why I did get pregnant when I was nursing? Maybe that is something that I can fix or he can! Maybe I should go through chemical menopause to help with my endo......they guess that I might have that. Maybe they are right, even though it is totally a GUESS on their part. They don't want to go back through laperoscopely (I know I spelled that wrong) and produce more scarring!

I guess I just need to give up thinking for the night! I have 4 days before I will know for sure! Even though in my head I definitely do NOT feel pregnant! I hate the phrase, "It ain't over til its over!" It should be over! It should be over in my mind! So why isn't it? Why isn't it that easy? Why does the thought of a period coming make me cringe? I just want it to start so that I can move on. The last couple days of each cycle suck!

Well C is saying it is time for dinner. Luckily, we will eb gone all day tomorrow so I don't have time to think about it!